At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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