We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize