zippers are such a cool invention
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
