sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
this hospital has no fireball
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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