She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
