You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
