I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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