Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
