If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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