theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize