it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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