I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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