I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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