pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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