I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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