I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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