operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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