Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize