just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize