is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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