just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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