I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
