I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
barbara walters just said penis...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
