Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
