I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize