wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
