Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize