After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
someone owes me an orgasm
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
