quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
