I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
