I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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