nutella sex= disaster
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
