Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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