Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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