Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
