then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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