She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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