Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
