I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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