Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Your cock deserves a montage
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
