I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
