I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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