You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
