We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
