you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
