Me. At least after what I've been through.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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