Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
