Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
