I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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