We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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