I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
