and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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