This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
