Kareoke will never be a sober sport
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
