Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
