How'd it feel making her break her religion?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
