What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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