All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
