I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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