If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
