I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
All I want is dick and wine.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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