Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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