It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
