Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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