I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize