I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
