Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
