Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
