**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
