Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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