thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
